Servanthood: the heart of marriage

Marriage has existed since Day 6 of creation. It is a natural, hard-wired part of our psyche to desire intimacy and companionship, but through the millennia the idea of marriage has been distorted, disfigured, and destroyed. Recent studies show the following:

• 44% of 18- to 29-year-old Americans believe marriage is becoming obsolete
• In 1960, 72% of American adults were married. In 2011, 51% were married. If the trend continues, the number of married adults will be come a national minority in the next few years.
• Nearly 50% of all marriages in the US end in divorce
• Average length of marriages that end in divorce is 7 years
• 17% of all divorces in America are due to infidelity
• #1 reason women cheat is a lack of emotional connection in the marriage
• #1 reason men cheat is sex

Why post all this? To open our eyes. Marriage is increasingly becoming something that is passé, outdated, obsolete in the American mindset. Divorces have left gaping holes in our society, with children suffering the collateral damage of relational fallout. It is even to the point that marriage is becoming a phobia or plague, with younger generations viewing it as destructive to relationships to get married. There are around 5.5 million unmarried couples cohabitating in the US.

What's the cause of all this? Is it the man's fault for not connecting emotionally, working too hard, etc? Do wives need to be more sexual towards their husbands, feeding their insatiable libido? Is it the wife's fault or the husband's? To be honest: neither and both. The root of this is that marriage has evolved into a self-centered mindset, a "what should my spouse be doing for me and my needs" mentality. Our society breeds the egotistical idea that everything should be focused on me and only me, and unfortunately this attitude has taken firm root in our relationships. I would venture to say that a majority of fights in marriages revolve around unmet or perceived unmet needs. "She's never sexually available! She's always tired and has a headache! He's never around! All he wants is sex, sex, sex, like I'm some kind of robot, but where's his heart? She never lets me have me time! He never talks to me or reaches out to me! He ignores the kids." I could go on and on, but you get the point. I've even made some of those statements (much to my own chagrin). Marriage is increasingly becoming a means to individual fulfillment, mirroring the spirit of the self-centered age. Love is becoming a conditional response based on what I get in return. Selfish feelings are taking the place of commitment.

How does this change?

David Kinnaman, president of the Barna Group, says:

"As Christians, we must recommit ourselves to building others-oriented marriages that seek to serve others better—your spouse, children, church and community. Of course, it will be a struggle, so we’ll need to be people of grace and restoration, too."

We have to shift our focus back to where it should be: servant hood. It's not about how can she serve me, but how can I serve her. My focus is not inward, but outward. Paul writes this in Ephesians:

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

This is sacrificial, service-oriented love. Wives, you are to submit to your husbands as the head of your life and family, as Christ is the head of the church. Submit means coming under, recognizing, and obeying his authority as the head of your family. That's not sexist or misogynistic, but biblical. Men are the head of the family and should be honored and respected. That doesn't make him your master (we'll discuss submissive but equal another time, because husbands submit too!) nor you a slave, but it is a recognition of the biblical foundation of marriage. Husbands, you are to love your wives, not for what you get in return, but sacrificially. Christ gave Himself WITHOUT getting anything in return from us. It was decision and act based solely on His love for us. In fact, Isaiah 53 points out that Christ suffered for us yet "He did not open His mouth", i.e. didn't complain, insult, grumble, etc. 1 Peter 2:23 says the same. Try that next time your wife asks you to change a diaper, take out the trash, move your shoes, etc. We are to love our wives and families sacrificially, giving up our time and resources to invest in them, not provide for them. That means shutting off the Cardinals game, putting down the iPad, ignoring the telephone, and investing in your wife.

The only way that marriages work and survive is through hard work and service. We must change our mindset to be content meeting our spouse's needs and not worried about ours. There is no scoreboard, no tally of favors, no balance sheet. See a need, meet a need. That's how marriage works. And healthy families are built upon healthy marriages, and when momma AND daddy are happy, the kids are happy, secure, and blessed.

He's Alive...ALIIIIIVVVEEEE!

I love classic movies and one of the most recognized lines of all times is "It's alive! ALLLIIIIVVEEE!" The black and white screen displays a science lab with a pieced together body lying on a table under a mat. Dr. Victor Frankenstein and his assistant look eagerly on as the creature moves.

It's alive!! So this is what it feels like to be god!

What a great scene! The victory, the insanity, the horror. The reanimation of a being sewn together of parts from various cadavers. Life being given to a lifeless body. A man driven mad by grief and loss strives for a way to bring life to the dead. No wonder it is one of the most well-known classics of all time. If you haven't read the book, you really should.

Well, this morning I woke up with a single thought in my head, something from my college days. "The BODILY Resurrection of Jesus Christ is what distinguishes Christianity from other religions." Now, I realize that may seem sacrilegious starting my blog about resurrection talking about Frankenstein, but that's why it's my blog, and not yours. =)

Dr. Larry Goodrich drilled this single concept into our minds throughout the course of his Cults and Religions class, and this is something that has stayed with me through the last decade of my life. I've taught this truth and shared it on numerous occasions. As we approach Easter I find myself compelled to proclaim this same truth, Jesus is alive! And not just alive spiritually in all of us, but physically, bodily alive!

The so called gods of other religions are dead men, piles of dust in a tomb, cave, box, or tent somewhere. They are idols crafted by human hands, images of the imagination given power by myth and legend. Psalm 135 says, "The idols of the nations are silver and gold, made by human hands. They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but cannot see. They have ears, but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths." What a sad state for humanity, to put their trust in lifeless images or dead personages that have no power or effect in their lives. They bring false hope and genuine frustration when you consider their impotence.

The exclamation point to the message of Christianity isn't that Jesus died for our sins, but that He rose from the dead in the same body he died in! He didn't rise spiritually like some claim and you won't find his coffin or tomb somewhere with a pile of dust and bones. I won't go into all the evidence for the suffering He faced on the cross and the fact that He died. The point is that He rose, physically rose! The body that suffered death is the same body that was wrapped and the same body that walked out of that tomb in power. THAT is what sets Christianity apart. If Jesus didn't rise physically and walk out of that tomb, shut the doors to the church and pack up shop, because we're wasting our breath. If His bones can be found somewhere in a tomb, we are still in our sins. All men are destined to die, but the amazing joy and truth of Christianity is that Jesus rose from the dead to conquer sin, Hell, and death, and because of that we are assured eternal life through His resurrection. He has not only taken our sin on Himself, but He rose from the dead, paying our price and providing a way out of the penalty into eternal life. That is the joy of Easter! Not that image of Him on a cross, but of Him in glory.

Catholics utilize the crucifix with Jesus hanging from it for their symbol, but how sad that the focal point is His suffering and death. My Jesus isn't on the cross or in the tomb, but reigns in Heaven and He's making a place for me. If my salvation ends at the cross, how sad is my life? Someone died "in my place", but if the story ends there I'm no better off. Secret Service jump in front of bullets for the President. Parents have given their lives in place of their children, but that is just a temporary sacrifice. Jesus death is only half the equation because the resurrection shows His victory over death and sin and secures His place as deity. Plenty of false messiahs died, but only the true Messiah rose physically from the dead. My Jesus is alive!

He's Alive! ALLIIIIVVVVEEEE!!!!

Jesus + ???

So, I recently discovered the wonders of Pandora. It's amazing to be able to listen to literally whatever I want, exactly when I want, over the Internet. I'm amazed, but then again, after 4 years overseas it doesn't really take much to amaze me. Walmart still feels like Disneyland.

Well, due to the free nature of Pandora, you get the occasion ad in between songs and I have continually heard an ad for Kabbalah, touting that it is "useful for all faiths." Now, I'm also helping with an apologetics class for teenagers and I find this declaration to be quite unsettling and something I see way too much.

First, let me finish my title, Jesus + NOTHING = Salvation. There is nothing that we can add to Jesus in order to obtain salvation. Ephesians 2:8-9 says it fairly clearly, "For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith, and this NOT OF YOURSELF, it is the GIFT of God, NOT by works, so that no one can boast." We have done and can do nothing to obtain the salvation that God provides. If we could, we wouldn't need Jesus.

Jesus + works = legalism
Jesus + secret knowledge = mysticism
Jesus + nothing = Christianity (salvation)

Being human, I am inclined by nature to try to earn my way. We are naturally bent towards trying to earn salvation, like we earn a paycheck, striving to do enough to warrant salvation, but the truth of the matter is we can do absolutely nothing. John Calvin had it right when he declared man to be Totally Depraved, i.e. we are born into sin and incapable of coming to righteousness on our own. We are born dead, spiritually decomposed and lifeless, until we ask Christ into our lives and experience new birth.

Second, the Bible is the ONLY God-inspired book and can be understood and studied as it is. We don't need any other teaching to help us understand or interpret the Bible. Scripture interprets Scripture. When we find a teaching hard to understand, we compare it with other places in the Bible that speak of the same topic and thereby find what the Bible teaches on a given subject. In terms of the prophetic, there are things that we aren't going to understand because we didn't see the vision. When prophecies are interpreted in Scripture, we can directly see what is meant. Others, such as Revelation, are things we aren't going to understand, but this isn't a post on prophecy. Many other cults and sects have added things to the Bible in an attempt to make it more understandable or add to it:

Bible + Book of Mormon + Doctrine and Covenants + Pearl of Great Price = Mormonism
Bible + Science and Health = Christian Science
Bible + Zohar = Christian Kabbalah

All of these are errant and misguided, even blasphemous, in their inclusion of other "sacred works" or aids in understanding, interpreting, and applying the Bible. The Bible is simple and the message clear. No other work is needed to understand it and where difficult passages exist, we search to find the whole teaching of Scripture. Commentaries do help, but remember this, THEY AREN'T INSPIRED! I don't care what Rabbi, teacher, pastor, theologian, etc. wrote them, they do not have equal weight with Scripture and can be incorrect because they are of human origin

Third, the Bible has ONE meaning. Period. The meaning intended by the original authors to their original audiences is the ONLY meaning that Scripture can have. We must read and interpret Scripture in context, not pulling out our favorite verses for ourselves to give an ego boost (sorry but Jeremiah 29:11 was not written for YOU, but the truth does apply). We have a big tendency towards picking and choosing specific verses to back up whatever theology we wanna believe, *ahem* prosperity doctrine. The Prayer of Jabez, Name it Claim it, "give and it will be given to you", etc. are all OUT OF CONTEXT teachings that are not grounded in the whole teaching of Scripture. Just because you "plant a seed" in some televangelist's ministry doesn't mean that God HAS to give you anything or that He even will.

Manipulation or Coercion of God = Magic, i.e. Witchcraft

Let me boil it all down for you, very easy.

1. Sola Scriptura - The Bible is the ONLY inspired and authoritative Word of God
2. Sola Fide - Justification is by FAITH alone, not works
3. Sola Gratia - Salvation is given by DIVINE GRACE alone (Unmerited favor)
4. Solo Christo - Christ is the ONLY MEDIATOR between God and Man, not Joseph Smith, L. Ron Hubbard, any so called saint, the Virgin Mary (in whatever appearance), etc.

Surely alive!

Psalm 115

"Not to us, Yahweh, not to us, but to Your name give glory because of Your faithful love, because of Your truth. Why should the nations say, “Where is their God? ” Our God is in heaven and does whatever He pleases. Their idols are silver and gold, made by human hands. They have mouths but cannot speak, eyes, but cannot see. They have ears but cannot hear, noses, but cannot smell. They have hands but cannot feel, feet, but cannot walk. They cannot make a sound with their throats. Those who make them are as are all who trust in them. Israel, trust in the Lord! He is their help and shield. House of Aaron, trust in the Lord! He is their help and shield. You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord! He is their help and shield. The Lord remembers us and will bless ⌊us⌋. He will bless the house of Israel; He will bless the house of Aaron; He will bless those who fear the Lord —

small and great alike. May the Lord add to ⌊your numbers⌋, both yours and your children’s. May you be blessed by the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. The heavens are the Lord’s, but the earth He has given to the human race. It is not the dead who praise the Lord, nor any of those descending into the silence ⌊of death⌋. But we will praise the Lord, both now and forever. Hallelujah!"

 

This Psalm is such an amazing thing! How incredible and comforting to remember that my God isn't some stone idol, crafted in my image and by my hands, with eyes, ears, and mouth that don't even work. My God is the Creator of Heaven and Earth, a LIVING God who sees, knows, hears, responds, speaks, feels, understands. Such sweet security to know that my God listens when I speak, out of 7 billion people, His ears perk up when I lift my voice, be it a scream of joy or a whisper of desperation. What a comfort to know that I have not nor am I making God in my image, fashioning him with my fickle hands, corrupt image, distorted morality, but HE is the one making me with His perfect hands, infinite wisdom, glorious image. He sees what is ahead because He has already walked there ahead of me and He knows my ways, my choices, my failures, and loves me the same. He makes me in HIS glorious image, inviting me into His eternality.

 

That's why I love prayer. I'm speaking personally with the God of Heaven and Earth, the One who spoke life into existence. He tilts His ear to my voice and listens to my every word. He whispers sweet reassurance in my ears and wraps His arms around me. When did Buddha ever leave his lotus position to comfort a hurting follower? When did Allah ever come to humanity, to live like a man, and give his life for the world? When did Shiva, Ganesh, or any other of the pantheon of Hindu gods ever answer the prayers and care for the millions of faithful. Yet my God listens every time. My God answers my prayers. My God stepped onto the scene of human history, to live a life like me, to understand my pains and temptations, and satisfy His justice on my behalf. What God is like Jehovah? NONE!